CHAPTER 9

A Promise Not Fulfilled...
SURE PUNISHMENT

When the individual carries out his promises, it is in the belief that he will find a reason for living, a purpose for his life, something that gives us a reason to live since fear, blame and our own negative recordings from our mother in addition to our Enemy Within as a child made us feel like a hindrance, an obstacle, something undesired, in the wrong time or a danger to our mother’s health. We felt so much confusion that we believe we shouldn’t be born because we are going to create problems; but our soul forces us to move forward. It knows that we have to be born, and then justifies our being born. Through the PROMISE we find a reason to live. In the majority of cases the promise is not consciously remembered and is therefore not fulfilled. The person feels that he has failed; or in cases where he partially fulfills his promise, he feels that he is not doing things well, or guilty and deserving of punishment. But at the same time he feels that he has no reason for living, since the purpose for which he was born was to fulfill his promise, and he is not doing that. Since he does not carry out his purpose, he has no reason to live; and so the Enemy Within takes advantage of that guilt and loss of purpose to make the individual unconsciously seek death. Why death? Because death is the result of having no reason to live. If there is no purpose to you life, then neither is there a reason to work or study, and the next thing to look for is death.

Punishment is accepted by means of a mechanism where the Enemy Within interferes with the correct flow of vital energy, sufficient to keep the human body working perfectly. This together with the human’s feeling of guilt, mentally accepting the illness or suffering as part of his destiny without knowing the mechanism of the Lying Mind and the Enemy Within, may destroy him, weakening the person’s energy field and thus causing the physical body to weaken its defenses and allow the entry of illness. Some people with low energy have no chance of fighting and defeating the Enemy Within, believing everything the Lying Mind tells them and on many occasions even programming themselves to attract an illness or accepting their punishment of death, be it through illness, accident, addiction, negative friendships or sentimental relationships that cause suffering. Other individuals with high energy may overcome this and confront the attacks of the Enemy Within. They continue living, but punish themselves. If the guilt they suffer is to a lesser degree, then they may punish themselves with something as small as a headache, the loss of a wallet, etc.; if their guilt they feel is greater, then they may punish themselves with something as serious as a long and painful illness, painful accidents that do not cause death or causing a part of their body to be deformed or amputated, scars or obesity, as well as such punishments as financial failures, loss of their employment, sentimental failures or divorce, etc.
Any situation that makes them feel that they are not fulfilling the promise will make them feel that they have lost their reason to live, even though this may be a false reason, like the promises.

Example:
David remembered his mother’s womb during one regression exercise: My parents lived in the US at the time of the recession. When my mother found out she was pregnant she was very frightened. She didn’t want the pregnancy because they had no money for another person in the family. In addition she was afraid about what my father would say. He had a very bad temper and was always shouting at her. I felt very bad; I promised to be good and help them with everything; that I would always be there to help them.
At 5 years of age I began to help my mother with my brothers and sisters. I never asked for anything. There were times when my shoes were too small, but I never said anything for fear she would have to spend her money. I began to work at the age of 8, and I gave all my money to my parents. When I got married at 24 I couldn’t give them money. I went to live in another city, my life became chaos. I couldn’t concentrate, I suffered every day from headaches and fevers. The doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me. My character changed, I was angry all the time, I didn’t get on with my wife, I felt tired. One day my wife couldn’t take my bad temper anymore and left me. What I did notice was that after she left my anger began to go down. Without knowing why, I decided to return home to my parents. I feel happy with them. Since I’ve been back the tiredness, the headaches, the fevers, the lack of concentration and the bad temper have vanished.
David believed that he was causing his parents economic problems, because he had promised to always be with them and help them, making these promises as part of his false REASON FOR LIVING. When he left his parents’ home, it was impossible for him to fulfill these promises. He felt guilty and bad, and therefore deserving of punishment. The Enemy Within, taking advantage of this sent him physical illness as his punishment, along with anger. The pressure finally caused his wife to divorce him, therefore taking away the cause of his abandoning his parents: his marriage. He finally returned home to his parents, again taking up his false reason for living. The promise as a result stopped punishment him, and allowed that he had a right to live.

Victor: My first clear and conscious memories go back to when I was 3 years old, but I know that since my parents married the life he gave my mother, and later me, was full of pain, disdain and deceit. He had another family; and when he arrived at our house weeks after having disappeared, he would run us out, saying, “Get out of my life!” When I was 6, I responded by asking my mother if we could go live with my grandparents or uncles and aunts, far from my father, but she said, “No, we can’t do that. If we do you won’t have a father anymore and there will be nobody to take care of you.” When her father (my grandfather) visited us and saw her suffering, he became angry and told my mother clearly, “Between this child and your husband, they’re killing you.” And so it was clear to me that because of me she was suffering and dying.
When I was 6 my mother often let me go play with my neighbors. After playing, I went in the house and found my mother crying. I asked her, “What are you doing?” “Nothing, just ironing your father’s shirts, and here he has abandoned us. I should have told my father that I wouldn’t marry him. I should stayed at home. But that’s nothing to do with it, now it is my obligation to stay with him and suffer so you can have a father. And all for nothing, because when you grow up you will marry and leave me all alone.” And I answered her, “No, Mommy! Don’t worry! I PROMISE that I will always be here with you and I’ll never marry!” Years later when I was 23 I decided to get married. My mother reproached me, reminding me of my promise, “Remember that you were never going to marry?” So I decided to live with my wife in my parents’ house. Soon after that my mother declared war on my wife. I decided that we would leave her house and live alone in an apartment. A few months later I began to feel consumed by anxiety. I didn’t know what was wrong-I began to drink to put out the fire of this strange illness that nobody could diagnose. Years later I was divorced. I married again and divorced again. My alcoholism became worse. I was dying; I had two accidents while I was driving under the influence. I was on the point of dying.
When Victor heard what his grandfather said, that between him and his father they were killing his mother, he believed that he was causing his mother’s death. Obviously it was his fault that his mother couldn’t get a divorce. He therefore promised to never marry and to take care of her so she wouldn’t die. At that moment these promises become his false REASON FOR LIVING. When he married, V. lived with his mother, but upon leaving her he began to punish himself physically, emotionally and mentally. He felt bad and guilty; his Enemy Within sent feelings of anxiety for failing to fulfill his promises. His punishment was divorces, alcoholism, the impossibility of feeling good with himself, until finally his Enemy Within led him to greater punishment with accidents which almost took his life. Why? Because the greatest punishment for guilt is death. There was no longer a reason for him to live, since, as he believed, the reason for his existence was to be with his mother, live with her and care for her.

Daniela is 40 years old, a mother of two children. She sought alternatives to heal her emotions and help the treatment that she was undergoing for stomach cancer.
She began to tell of her life from the time she was a child, saying, “I had 4 brothers. The oldest left home before I was born. The second was 8 and I was 6 when my mother got sick, and there were two little brothers, the youngest was only 2. My mother had stomach cancer. My father was a drunk, he was never home, and when he was all he did was hit my mother, even when she was sick.

When I was 7 I asked my mother what was wrong with her. She was very close to death. She told me she had cancer and was going to die, and I said, “Don’t die! Give me your sickness, but don’t die. It’s better for me to die instead of you. I’ll take care of you and nothing will happen to you.” When she was dying she told us to take care of my little brothers, and then we were alone. My father appeared a week later. Even though they had sent word to him he never came to see us. My uncles and aunts took care of my mother’s last expenses, but they couldn’t take us because they too were very poor. As we had promised my mother, my brother went out to find us food and I took care of my little brothers. My father came to see us once and then never returned. He lived with another woman and had other children.

A few months later my little brother, the one born after me, left the house one day and never returned. We never found him though we looked for days. We still don’t know if he died or was kidnapped. I didn’t know how to take care of him. I’ve always carried that blame.
X: How old was your mother when she got sick?
D: 40, just like I am now.
X: Where was her cancer?
D: In the stomach.
X: Where is your cancer?
D: In the stomach.
X: Did you feel guilty for your mother’s death?
D: Yes. I asked her to give me her illness, and when she died I believed that I had not taken care of her as I had promised. I had told her that nothing would happen to her.
X: Do you believe that you should have kept her alive?
D: Not now, but when I was a child and she died I believed that. I was sure that if she had given me her cancer she would have lived, but I couldn’t do it.
X: How did you feel when your brother was lost?
D: I wanted to die, to disappear. I still believe that it was my fault.
X: Do you realize that you are repeating what happened to your mother? At 40 years of age you have stomach cancer, the same age in which you found out your mother had cancer and in the place as her. That means that when you asked your mother to give you her illness, you opened your energy field, the Enemy Within waited to fulfill your desire at the same age when your mother’s problem began, and the guilt that you carried with the disappearance of your brother was the perfect fuel to fulfill your wish to die.

When she told you she was going to die, you told her that you would take care of her so she would get well. This became your reason for living. When she died you changed that reason, that purpose (promise) for the promise to take care of your brothers. When your brother was lost, you lost your reason for living (promise) and you wanted to die. You still believe that it was your fault, and your wish to die also continues because you did not fulfill your promise to take care of your brothers. You therefore have no reason to live, so your first wish to get cancer is carried out, as your punishment.
When your mother died she changed your promise, leaving you with a reason to live; take care of your brothers.

Megan: When my husband died I was very sad and alone. I felt that part of me had gone with him. I thought that I would never forget. My 5 children also suffered a lot, especially the oldest who was very close to his father. When his father died, Enrique, my oldest, told me not to worry, that he would always help me with the others. I couldn’t let him do that, so I told him that they were my responsibility; and from that moment on my only reason for living has been them. Now I remember that I silently promised myself, wrapped in pain, love and compassion for my children; I said, “I will never abandon you, I will always take care of you.”
As the years passed some men were interested in me, but I never wanted to marry again. I have not been able to forget my husband, and also my children came first with me. Since I didn’t have to replace their father, I wasn’t going to risk marrying somebody that would distract me from my first and most important purpose of taking care of my children and giving them my best.
Now my children are big. They have their own businesses. Some are married and others are still single, but financially they are all doing well. I decided to accept an offer to work in another city. I went there, but I don’t know what happened to me. A few months after I had moved there I began to feel bad. The doctors couldn’t find anything wrong in all the tests they ran, but I suffered constantly from stomach pains and attacks of anxiety, as well as dizziness and fainting spells. I began to lose weight, and felt so bad I believed I was dying. I decided to come home to be close to my children, and little by little, with no explanation, I began to feel better. The doctors have no idea what happened, much less me.
R: Do you know the promises you made?
M: Yes, one was to take care of my children. I feel very good because I did very well. They are all good kids and happy.
R: No, you made three: “To take care of the children”, “To always be with them,” and “To never forget your husband”. Do you know why you got sick?
M: No, I told you that nobody found what was wrong with me. Do you have any idea?
R: I’m going to explain it promise by promise so you will see.

First, when your husband died you made a silent promise to never forget him. That promise was constantly present in your life, and therefore there was no room for another person in your life, except for him. As a result you have never married again.
Secondly, you made two promises to your children: to never abandon them and to always take care of them. This means that all your life you had to be with them. When you moved to anther city, you broke those promises. You were doing something bad, meaning you were a bad mother. As punishment, you felt all those physical symptoms that no doctor could find a reason for. The reason is that they were not in your physical body, but rather caused by your Enemy Within. When you made those promises they became your false Reason for Living. This doesn’t mean that without those promises you would have let your children fend for themselves; but when you made those promises your energy became committed or concentrated on fulfilling them and being with your children. When you left because your children were grown and didn’t need you anymore, your false reason for living demanded that you continue to fulfill those promises. When you didn’t, then you may as well have died, because you no longer had a reason for living. Of course all this is at a subconscious level.